Retropost: Love dwells in the now

The following was first posted as a Facebook status update on July 18, 2015:

Unplanned dinner at the vegetarian place with a good friend tonight, talk of books, of theories (of time, of capitalism, of precarity, of disposability), of our passing youth, of passing loves, of life in the academe, of shifting energies and priorities once one turns 30.

He said, love dwells in the now, commitment is future-oriented. Capitalism seeks to extract everything from the present, rendering the future exhausted, disposable, or unimaginable. If one internalizes capitalist time, which is not chronos but kairos–not about sequence, but about the opportune moment, wherein present in the present are past and future, does it not make sense also to love all in the now, with considerations of past and future blurring into indeterminate contemporaneity and the heady immediacy of present desire? So, date as you like, don’t care too much who, the point is enjoyment of the present moment (of your twenties, which will never be like any other age in your life) and the height of your energies, not some distant future of a wrinkled hand to hold. Hold, instead, a hand whose touch you can summon at your convenience, whose time is liquid enough to fill the brief blank spaces in your days.

I was like, but but but I subscribe to a different politics both in love and economics! (Once I was told: Your love is as wholesome as wholewheat bread, and I am not sure whether that was a compliment.) Still, it is always very interesting to listen to intellectualized complications of YOLO–with nerds one can always talk about sappy shit and we have no problems with intellectualizing the sappy shit so we feel less embarrassed about being sappy because ewww sentimental goop ewww, hahaha.

 

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