A realization upon reading fragments of A Lover’s Discourse

image The lover lives in perpetual anxiety within the amorous relation because he persists in it despite the distinct possibility of being discarded by the other. He designates an immense amount of his energy, time, and affections for the other and the amorous relation, without knowing if all that will amount to anything in the future–somewhat like tossing gold coins each day into a deep, sludge-filled wishing well. And when he is discarded by the other, the other may likewise jettison blame: the other cannot be faulted if he did not acknowledge, subscribe to, dignify the amorous relation and the lover’s discourse; he is not obliged if he never said “I love…” So in the end, it is the lover who has waited, who has expended, who has endured absence, who loses. There is nothing to recover, but he must, somehow, begin again.

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