A Cento* Badoodled**

i looked directly into the face
of the life I thought I was missing
you pedaled into the wind
we were rewarded by journeys
away from each other
into desire
into mornings alone

the sands have run out against us
let the moments end in moments with their cargo of fugitive songs—
any love the heart pretends to
what is there to know?
a table is a table, wine is wine
we
were lost
from the start

it’s not love we don’t wish
to fall into, but that fear
to awake at night
and in the dimness see
the small deceptions
we allow ourselves:
a sickness, unchecked
like this:
we might work out

we sleep together like
that
at the cost of untold losses—a poem, a sigh
i could not be heard always, at least not the first time
for you pedaled into the wind
and my hair was a ribbon in your eyes
so all the meanings we unsay, we let
close in on us in gray ambivalence

we
were lost
from the start

i’m walking home
through a district
of porches and tea-lights
these fireflies
sweep their tracings
toward a blacker part of
the evening

there will come soft rains
but even so, wouldn’t i end up here again,
always here?

*Because a hopeless infatuation makes for a good excuse for scribbling sappy shit.

**All lines are culled from my Facebook Poetry Fix Notes. Poems used include:

  • “Drinking Wine” by Wislawa Szymborska
  • “Areas, Gray” by Mookie Katigbak
  • “Marrying the Hangman” by Margaret Atwood
  • “[What horror to awake at night]” by Lorine Niedecker
  • “Vulva-Shaped Bonbons” by Matthew Dickman
  • “Bluebird” by Charles Bukowski
  • “Sing the song of the moment” by Rabindranath Tagore
  • “If Briefly” by Allen Edwin Butt
  • “You Who Never Arrived” by Rainer Maria Rilke
  • “The Waking” by Theodore Roethke
  • “Variations on the Word Love” by Margaret Atwood
  • “Movement Song” by Audre Lorde
  • “[As if the moon could haul through you]” by Neil Fischer
  • “& then afterward” by Nate Pritts
  • “There Will Come Soft Rains” by Sara Teasdale
  • “Bridled Vows” by Ian Duhig
  • “Had I Been There, Had It Been Me” by Benjamin S. Grossberg
  • “A Large Number” by Wislawa Szymborska
  • “Town Of Unspeakable Things” by Allison Seay

***No claims to artistry or intentions of irreverence. I was bored, ‘kay. XD

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