upon a rejection letter

the papers all gathered, piled, filed, scrutinized
and the months of waiting come to this: you were not chosen.
thank you for your interest—the insights you expressed—voice breaking in passion
for that we give you notice: you were just not good enough.
thank you for your trust in our judgment.
should you need clarification about this rejection, don’t hesitate to call us
and let us count to you the ways—

they lead to this: a blue star inked on white wrist
the sharpness of the pen against thin skin
cold needlepoint
the calm of it, the numbness of it
control and catharsis without a tattoo’s searing finality

and after a while you smudge it with tears
you douse it with alcohol and set it on fire
or you let it stay and fade away—the picture, the dream, the memory
all melting into a purple bruise vaguely shaped like a star.

you’re a star!
you’re a star!
so the goddess tells you.
you don’t believe her. you’ve smeared the mark away.

 

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One thought on “upon a rejection letter

  1. Pingback: thoughts on the dreaded rejection slip « tenant on the top floor

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