sales talk

a lulzy conversation between me and a guy friend over YM.

context: my org is selling tickets for the UP Fair

Me: wilt thou go a-fairing this week?

J: prithee, m’lady, forgive me and present upon me a most-vaunted yet undeserving ‘rain-check’. i have been tarrying in my thesis developments, so i must pick up the slack

Me: a pox on such troubles with thy manuscript! alas, another prospect i lose.

J: marry, friends and fiends abound within the halls of your acquaintance! i wish thee the best of luck in finding a suitable consort

Me: aye. but my friends–nay, rivals–do race for pennies likewise. sales are a-lagging, i’m afraid.

J: and pennies they shall get. forsooth, thou art a good friend with deep purses! lagging sales make for lagging interest. direct thy attentions to a more engaging exercise. jousting, perchance?

Me: a pity jousting lies not among my accomplishments. would that i were a courtier. ah well. ifsoever thou know’st any lass or lad questing for yesthursday passes, prithee, direct them to me or to our humble hut.

J: sir L– of visayas-avenue-burg has been searching for a golden pass. lest he has obtained one of the ready, your benefactors shall be hearing from him post-haste

Me: forsooth! thankee, good sir, for that intelligence! i shall seek the lord out anon.

he thought i was asking him out. HAHAHA. i just need sales! i must admit, though, this was fun. oh what nerds we are!


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